APRIL

TOPIC: Forgiveness

PRAXIS

Once in the next month:

  1. Model forgiveness as a family:

    Depending on the ages of your kids, focus on 1-4 key aspects of forgiveness. You can put the following phrases on a message board or incorporate them into family prayer throughout the month.

    • I will remember what Jesus did for me.

    • I will forgive others.

    • I will forgive myself.

    • I will choose the action, trusting that my heart will follow.

  2. Towards the end of the month, each person shares about their growth in terms of forgiveness of self and others.

Optional Podcast by Harriet Lerner and Brené Brown:
I’m Sorry: How to Apologize and Why It Matters, Part 1
I’m Sorry: How to Apologize and Why It Matters, Part 2

MARCH

TOPIC: Cultivating Empathy

PRAXIS

  1. Practice genuine listening with your partner for 10 minutes as EACH of you take turns being the speaker and listener.

  2. As the speaker, share something that has been causing you stress or worry in your life that is outside the relationship.

  3. After each conversation, give honest, concrete & brief feedback for 2 minutes, using the following format:

    • The listener reflects first, answering: How was I empathetic? Which skill(s) could I be more attentive to? How did God and I “do it together,” or not?

    • Then the speaker reflects: Did I feel that I was being understood? What was helpful about the listener’s presence, behavior, or questions? What could have been more helpful?

  4. Feel free to review the Empathy & Sympathy Chart if you find that helpful.

  5. Continue one kindness praxis that helps you.

FEBRUARY

TOPIC: Kindness

PRAXIS

Each week, choose any or all of these 4 practical ways to focus on kindness:

  1. Respond to partner’s “bids”

  2. Assume good intentions

  3. React kindly, especially when angry

  4. Share our partner’s joy

At the end of each week, reflect with God and then share with your spouse:

  1. How you felt receiving their kindness

  2. How it was to exercise kindness

JANUARY

TOPIC: Genuine Listening

PRAXIS

  1. Once a week, practice genuine listening with your partner for 10 minutes as EACH of you take turns being the speaker and listener.

  2. As the speaker, share something that has been causing you stress or worry in your life that is outside the relationship.

  3. As the listener, pray quietly before the speaker begins:
    I pray for the gift of compassion, Lord, I ask for the ability to enter into the feelings of my partner with love, to be vulnerable as I seek to be with them. Grant me the generosity to make no judgment on their life, even if this tries my patience. In all this, may I experience the joy of knowing that in compassion I am like you, the God of compassion.

  4. After each conversation, give honest, concrete & brief feedback for 2 minutes, using the following format:

    • The listener reflects first, answering: How was I curious? How was I empathetic? Which skill(s) could I be more attentive to?

    • Then the speaker reflects: Did I feel that I was being understood? What was helpful about the listener’s presence, behavior, or questions? What could have been more helpful?

Top Ten Genuine Listening Do’s & Don’t

DECEMBER

TOPIC: Genuine Needs

PRAXIS

  1. At least 1x/week, schedule in a PREPS praxis.

    Prayer

    Rest

    Exercise

    Play

    Study

  2. To help you express your needs, download the Gottman Card Decks App and go through the Expressing Needs deck.

NOVEMBER

TOPIC: Being Present & Attentive to Bids

PRAXIS

  1. Practice the “Being Present to Our Breath Exercise” below (2x/week).

  2. Each week, converse with your partner for 10-15 minutes to recognize bids (subtle or not) using the following guidelines:

    • Before the conversation, pause to take 5 deep breaths and ask God for the grace to be present to what’s happening within you and to your partner.

    • Seek to understand your partner. Try to minimize complaining or judging.

    • Use I statements to report as well as take responsibility for your feelings. Refrain from saying, “You did not …” or “You made me feel …” Rather say, “The other day, I was trying to make this bid … I felt …. when you missed the signal or responded in this way …”.

    • Share the genuine need(s) that prompted your bid(s).

    • Discuss constructively how each of you can be more present or attentive to the other’s bids.

OCTOBER

TOPIC: Gratitude & Gift

Wholehearted gratitude begins with remembering, deepens with receiving, and overflows into responding.

PRAXIS

  1. Watch a video on the gratitude jar & make a family GRATITUDE JAR decorating with words, stickers, images, etc.

  2. During the month, use these gratitude prompts and/or parent notes and place notes in the jar 3-4 times a week.

    * As you place each note in your Gratitude Jar, take a moment of pause to thank God for that particular blessing.
    * Parents please help your kids identify WHAT they are grateful for and HOW it can be a gift.

  3. During Thanksgiving weekend, read the gratitude jar notes aloud together as a family to remember your blessings and offer a prayer of thanksgiving to God.

OPTIONAL for Couples: Click the below guided Awareness Examen to continue your journey of gratitude through prayer.