GOD’S AUTHORITY, NOT MINE
Jesus said to them in reply, “I shall ask you one question,* and if you answer it for me, then I shall tell you by what authority I do these things. - Matthew 21:24
In today’s gospel, Jesus encounters religious leaders who not only question His authority, but also reveal their unwillingness to recognize Him as the Messiah. Their fear of what and who Jesus is and what He has come to do, feeds into their need to maintain power and control.
I am an eldest daughter (as well as an eldest granddaughter), in a Filipino family. Self-reliance and control were key to my upbringing and being the responsible person in any group of cousins, nieces, and nephews, was a role I had no choice in accepting. It was just what it was, has been, and at times, still is. While this helped me develop valuable skills to manage various situations, being independent also created an immense burden that has become heavier with each passing day: I am responsible for the wellbeing of others, taking care of my own desires is selfish and experiencing failure will cause others’ suffering.
For many years, my prayers asked for help to “figure things out.” They’ve never been humble requests for guidance, grace or surrender. My prayers constantly asked God to tell me what to do so I could do it myself. I wanted to do things on MY authority. “It’s MY responsibility, Jesus – not yours. I got this.” It took many years into adulthood for me to realize that I, in fact, don’t “got this.”
How often do we deny, ignore, overlook God’s hand in the workings of our lives because we are so focused on doing everything ourselves; doing everything our way; so relentless in our pursuit to manufacture ideal circumstances that we fail to acknowledge, much less receive, divine providence? We resist relinquishing control to God because it challenges our comfort, pride, and/or personal ambitions. Being human is so hard sometimes, yet we refuse aid from One who wants nothing more than our reliance on Him.
The religious leaders refuse to answer Jesus’ question because they fear looking foolish in front of those they want to control. But we are not foolish in God’s eyes, and He sees our humility and openness to His will when we surrender to His authority, His help; when we genuinely and lovingly trust Him.
What is keeping you from surrendering to God’s authority today? What are you finding difficult to release control of?
Anna Gonda