Joy Amidst the Chaos
It’s been hard for me recently to get into the holiday spirit. My ideal Advent would look something like this: Get all my Christmas shopping done before December, clean and decorate the house, slow down and go to daily mass, all so I can focus my heart on Jesus. Unsurprisingly, every year, I never achieve this ideal. I usually end up being too busy and the Christmas spirit becomes something I need to feel instead of live. Now that I have a 9-month-old, there seems to be no time to pray because most of my energy is focused on the baby. This year in particular, I feel very behind that I forget the joy that is Christmas.
Today’s readings radiate that joy. The first reading poetically describes the dramatic love between a man and a woman. It can also be interpreted as the love between God and his church. This was the same reading that my husband and I chose for our wedding because we felt that we imitated that dramatic love. Our lives look much different now, and it’s much harder to feel that love with a baby in the house.
As a new mother, today’s gospel reading on the visitation hits different now. I was 6 months pregnant around this time last year like Elizabeth. I was stressed out navigating pregnancy while preparing for the arrival of our baby. I can only imagine what Elizabeth was going through, especially in her advanced age. Maybe she was experiencing nausea, pregnancy pain, or loneliness. What an unexpected and joyous surprise it must have been to hear Mary coming. The same joy that made the child in her womb leap.
Jesus through Mary comes to us even when our home is not Christmas-ready. Elizabeth probably wasn’t ready when Mary came. Similar to how I feel right now. Yet Mary still comes in haste, bringing her Son to spend time with us, mess and all, and that is enough to bring us joy.
How beautiful it is to be loved so passionately. That someone wants to come in haste and leap over hills to celebrate us. I often don’t feel worthy to be loved so intensely, but I realize that when I fight it, I close myself off from God and others. I end up bitter, angry, and isolated. However, when I let go and let God celebrate me, that is where I find real joy, even amidst the chaos.
What is God asking you to let go of so that he can come in haste and celebrate us? I invite you to listen to Holy Forever by Phil Wickham to enter into the joy of this season.
Natalie To