THROUGH MARY’S DOOR
“For nothing will be impossible with God.” – Jn 1:37
Growing up, Mother Mary felt like the “elephant in the room.” Marian images were found on prayer centers, neighborhood murals, printed t-shirts, tattooed arms, and car dashboards; yet, there was very little mention of her. I never quite learned about or developed a relationship with Mother Mary. She was a visible, but quiet figure in my upbringing until I experienced a significant bump in my faith journey.
A few years ago, I “had it” with God. I resented Him for appearing so absent and distant in my life. It seemed like God had forgotten about me and answered everyone else’s prayers except for mine. This angst chipped away my confidence in God’s personal, unique love for me.
During this time, I shared my resistance towards God with my spiritual director. With determination, he said, “When coming to God face-to-face is too challenging, try going through Mother Mary to reach her son, Jesus. She knows him well. Sometimes a woman’s maternal care is much more relatable.” Despite my limited understanding of Mary, my spiritual director’s conviction convinced me to take a risk. For the first time in my life, I closed my eyes and imagined Mother Mary next to me in prayer. I took a chance and revealed my aching heart to her as in a good, trusted girlfriend.
Her response absolutely surprised me. In the most loving gesture, Mother Mary wrapped her ever so gentle blue mantle around me and allowed me to rest my weeping face on her bosom. She tenderly stroked my hair and caressed my back. Without any words, she communicated, “I’m here with you. I’m suffering with you.” The moment felt REAL, intimate, and unifying. It was a deep moment of exhalation. I felt completely seen and understood by a nurturing, consoling mother, especially when Jesus seemed far away.
This encounter opened my eyes to the power of Mother Mary and why many Catholics have a strong devotion to her. I wholeheartedly believe that through Mary’s intercession, she helped me to soften my heart and reconnect with Jesus again. After all, it was He who graced me with the opportunity to go through the door of Mother Mary in order to lean into His trust again. Jesus knew that I needed the encouraging care of Mother Mary to rekindle my relationship with Him.
How might I be invited to go through the door of Mother Mary to discover Jesus anew?