LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING
“My son, take care of your father when he is old; grieve him not as long as he lives. Even if his mind fail, be considerate of him; revile him not all the days of his life; kindness to a father will not be forgotten.” Sirach 3:12-14
Except during college and a three-month internship in Washington, DC soon after graduation, I have shared a house with my family. When working from home was only an option, and sheltering in place was unheard of, living with my parents and sister, not to mention relatives nearby, was not a big deal. And for the first few months of this global pandemic, it continued to be so. After a while, however, when privacy became near impossible to attain and the line between work life and home life blurred, the temptation to act out my frustration and impatience grew each day until I could no longer hold it back.
One afternoon I responded angrily to what I considered my mom nagging, and then I stormed out. I didn’t have anywhere to go, so I just drove around and cried. My mom and I scarcely spoke to each other for the next 24 hours, and as it’s always been with us, apologizing is difficult, so we hardly do it. Time doesn’t always heal all wounds, but it does give us an opportunity to reflect.
For the first time in over 40 years, I started to think of my mom’s life – how she grew up, what her relationship with my grandmother was like, how she raised me and my sister, how important taking care of her family is to her, what she has sacrificed and continues to give up for her children. After all she’d done for me, the least I could do was try to understand her.
As the first reading today reminds us, we must not only take care of our parents like they took care of us. We’re also called to show them kindness and consideration. We’re each born into a family that God chose for us, and while conflicts are possible, so too is love and mercy.
Anna Gonda