A PIECE OF THE WHOLE
“Give me only your love and your grace, that is enough for me.” - St. Ignatius of Loyola
How often do we imagine ourselves being able to see the entire picture, rather than only a piece of the whole? I would like to imagine myself to be all seeing and knowing. And yet, I am a fallible human being that in reality, can only experience a portion of what is happening. Only God sees all - our minds, our hearts, our experiences.
The line in St. Ignatius’ Suscipe prayer, “Give me only your love and grace...”, makes me pause. I wondered whether God’s love and grace is enough for me. Working with God over time, I added this line into my nightly prayers. At first, I only wanted to raise what I labeled as “bad” to God. As a human who experienced hurt and pain, I wanted to hold onto what I considered as “good”. As time passed, I started asking, “am I willing to let go, and trust God?” I found this process difficult. Slowly, my prayer expanded to include one “good” thing, followed by more “good” things. Surprisingly, things labeled “good” and “bad” sometimes turn out completely opposite of what I initially thought.
Today is the day before the Triduum, when Judas of Iscariot carries out his plan to betray Jesus. In today’s gospel reading, Judas is clearly painted as “bad”. I wondered whether Judas understood the consequences of his actions. We, as humans, have limited views of the consequences of our free-will. It was not that Judas’ decision was “good” or “bad”, because that is for God to decide. Jesus knew that Judas’ actions were necessary to fulfill the gospel.
Now we see that Jesus’ end was not the end. It was only the beginning of God’s kingdom. Sometimes the things we label turn out the complete opposite. Our actions are not the final say in God’s kingdom. God has the final say. May I accept that I cannot see the whole picture and learn to let go of labels.
What is happening in your mind and heart as we enter Triduum? Here’s a meditation song for your consideration.
Tram Nguyen