The Need to be Seen
Years ago, I really wanted to challenge myself during Lent, and I prayerfully decided to give up something I consumed every day in large quantities…coffee. Now, for some, you might think, “so what?” except that I had (still have) quite the caffeine habit. Giving up coffee became this “look at me, look at how good I am…” which quickly turned into “I am miserable, I have a headache, I want coffee, have I told you how much I need coffee right now?” In a nutshell, I was not pleasant to be around; I was a grouch. Was giving up coffee a huge sacrifice? Absolutely. Did I make sure everyone knew about it? You bet. Did I learn anything about fasting with a grateful heart? Nope.
“When you fast, do not look gloomy… do not neglect your appearance, so that you may appear to others to be fasting. Anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to be fasting.” - Mt 6:16-18
I clearly missed the memo about fasting those years ago, because I certainly looked gloomy—the bags under my eyes were proof of my lack of caffeine and I wore them with pride. Reflecting back on that Lent, I learned a few things … 1) I probably won’t ever give up coffee again and 2) how can what I discern to fast from, be something that draws me closer to Christ in a way that is not in vain, but for the heart?
I realize now, that my need to be seen, to be praised, greatly outweighed my desire to draw closer to Jesus. Not only did I need the validation from my peers, but I wanted that approval and praise from God as well – a sinner performing for the King, but God doesn’t need a performance, He simply needs me, just as I am.
During Lent, we are called to fast, but we are also asked to dive deeper into prayer and to give generously of our time, talent and treasure. Lent is not a time to punish yourself and in turn, punish all of those around you. Lent is a time to grow closer to the heart of Christ, by giving yours.
This Lent, how can we draw closer to the heart of Jesus, perhaps through some ways below?
What are we being asked to fast from? Is it coffee? Social media? The snooze button? Unnecessary spending?
What kind of prayer are we being invited into? An Ignatian examen each evening? Lectio Divina? A rosary?
How are we being asked to give? Serving in our parish communities? Donating to a charitable cause? Purging our closets and giving to a local shelter?
Prayers for a Blessed Lenten season … in preparation for your time in the desert, here’s a song to pray with.
Natalie Nathan
Photo credit: Tomml via Getty Images/Vetta