GRACE OF FAILURE
“Be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.” – Mt. 5:48
I am a recovering perfectionist. For many years I completely misinterpreted Jesus’ injunction in the above verse of Scripture. I took the phrase out of context. I thought it meant self-perfection, being perfect in everything. However, the previous verses in today’s Gospel put it clearly. We are called to love our enemies as God does. However, such clarity doesn’t make it easier. Not only love your enemy but “pray for those who persecute you.” Seriously, God?
By asking me to love my enemies and pray for those who hurt me, God stretches me beyond my perfectionism. It’s like throwing three more balls to someone who’s can barely juggle four balls at a time. It’s setting someone up for failure. Maybe God has a wicked sense of humor like that.
Throughout this past year of pandemic living, I feel like a juggler who has been thrown too many balls. I end up dropping them all. In my struggle to pick them up, I find others helping me. Gradually, I find myself more willing to receive help. In failing to love or pray perfectly my heart is stretched. My circle of compassion widens. My receptivity to receive mercy grows. Failure in being perfect opens me to encounter mercy – love without condition.
Perhaps it’s not a coincidence that the parallel verse in Luke’s Gospel reads: “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” (Lk 6:36). Perhaps it is not a coincidence that Jesus’ challenge for us to be perfectly merciful is also a beckoning to receive mercy in greater measure. Perhaps it’s not a coincidence that some struggles during this pandemic year open us to grace abound. Perhaps our call during Lent to upgrade prayer, fasting, and almsgiving can set us up to fail, so we may be surprised by mercy.
Is there a failure or setback in my life I can embrace as an opportunity for grace? To whom and from whom am I challenged to receive or offer mercy?