MY HEART OF STONE
“I have shown you many good works from my Father. For which of these are you trying to stone me?”
This past year, I feel like I’ve been the chair umpire at a tennis match, watching stones being hurled between two sides, carefully judging if the serve was “fair”. Each week the stones grow larger, the serves aren’t within the lines and the massive boulders aren’t to play a game, but are flung with the intent to hurt. The stones of “righteousness” are thrown to prove to ourselves and others that ‘being right’ trumps showing mercy and grace.
I too, am guilty of throwing rocks – of finding fault in others whose beliefs differ from my own. You, like me, probably have strong feelings and have had challenging conversations with family and good friends and perhaps also feel sad that we, as Catholics, are still having the same arguments. Sad that we can’t admit that systemic racism is real and how some continue to diminish BIPOC and AAPI lived experiences of harassment, that being pro-life means ALL life and not just the unborn, that the LGBTQIA+ community deserves a loving and blessed space in the church, that migrant children held in detention centers at the border is inhumane, that wearing a mask and getting vaccinated against COVID-19 (if you are able) is showing compassion towards others and … this list can go on and on.
Reflecting on today’s Gospel, something clicked. Jesus was doing His Father’s will, He was serving the people, loving them, teaching them and yet, despite all of these good works, the Jews still wanted to stone Him and were outraged at his blasphemous behavior. Even doing good, Jesus was mocked and criticized.
Jesus wasn’t afraid of the rocks, He trusted in doing the works of His father – and let the Jews continue to hurl insults. He knew defending the prostitute was right, He continued to hang out with the tax collectors, He showed mercy to Judas who betrayed Him – the rocks thrown were combated with love. Jesus took the stones thrown at Him, and with kindness, threw them back and let the ripple of mercy reach those on the outskirts, the marginalized, the oppressed – His love reached ALL.
And this message of perseverance in the face of adversity, gives me so much hope; rocks will be thrown, but continue to trust in the slow, good work of God. I carry a lot of rocks and I pray that when I throw them, I do so with loving kindness so that others can see God’s good works through me.
As we continue to walk towards the Passion of Jesus, what are the stones that you carry and throw? How is Jesus challenging you to use those rocks for good?
Natalie Nathan