KEEP ME SAFE, O GOD
“Keep me safe, O God; you are my hope.” Ps 16:1
As I am writing this reflection at the end of March in the midst of this panic and negativity from COVID-19, it has been extremely difficult to cling on the last strings of hope remaining that God is there and has a plan for us. During the beginning stages of the shelter-in-place, I had already been struggling with three major stressors in my life that had tipped me over into an internal storm of anxiety, panic, loneliness and depression. It’s during those moments in the storm, it became harder and harder to pray, to maintain peace, and to completely trust in God that I will be okay. As someone that is an essential worker in a hospital, I have fears of contracting the virus and fears of bringing the virus back to home, potentially infecting others because the last thing I wanted to do is to harm anyone. Beneath that fear, I knew I could only trust in God that He would protect me from that happening. I had to trust and have faith in God, who had been alongside me as I chose this career path when I was still a child. I needed to trust that He had and has plans for me that will naturally unfold as I move forward in life.
The uncertainty of things can cause much distress, especially since there are no clear answers or plan in place at this point in time. In order to keep a sense of peace within this storm, I must remain strong in my faith and trust in God. We won’t ever know why this had to happen, it may take some time before we completely understand what God wanted us to learn from this time. It’s during this time, I have felt helpless with many stressors in life including the fact that I have no strong influence on the decisions made on a daily basis with this pandemic. I have tried to refuse to give into the negativity and criticism that the news has been broadcasting leading people into a deeper fear and panic. To maintain a semi-peaceful state of mind, I have to remind myself of what I am grateful for, especially during this time. I have been amazed by the religious communities across the world, and I have been witnessing all of us coming together in unity in helping each other, ranging from praying for each other, providing resources of work for the unemployed, offering to buy groceries for someone who is afraid or not able to leave their house, and so much more. I have also been extremely grateful to the community for providing resources, online retreats, online conferences, etc. It is these things that I am reminded that I am not alone, and I am just a phone call or video chat away from a human connection that brings me comfort in the times where prayer alone may not completely help with the loneliness and isolation I experience. We were not created to be alone, and God has simply given us a simple reminder in these interactions through technology that He loves us so much. He knew that in this time we would need each other. God is love, and we need to believe, trust, and have hope in Him. Even if it is my time to leave this earthly life amidst this pandemic, I am at peace knowing that I will be reunited with Him and that Jesus died for us to give us eternal life. It’s during this Lenten season that I am reminded of Easter and of God’s love for me through Jesus.
So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love. Cor 13:13
Amy Lee