CHOOSING COURAGE
“Wait for the LORD with courage; be stouthearted, and wait for the LORD.” - Psalm 27:14
It was 2005, about 15 years ago now, and my older sister was soon leaving for deployment in Iraq. As her “going away,” she wanted to go to Cedar Point, a roller coaster park in Ohio, with my other sister, Annie, and me. It was a 2-3 hour drive from our house in Michigan, so we woke up early one Saturday morning and headed there. I fell asleep on the ride and got a crick in my neck. The day was fun, as I too love the thrill of a rollercoaster. However, as the day went on, Annie and I were struggling. The crick in my neck was quickly turning into a bad stiff neck, and by the end of the day I could barely hold my head up. We joked that I looked like a turtle pulling my head back into its shell. Annie wasn’t a big fan of roller coasters in the first place. By the end of the day, she said she could feel her brain shaking in her head after getting off one coaster. Julie on the other hand was all smiles and soaking up the time at the park and time with us. The gospel reading today brought me back to this time. It made me wonder if Annie and I were finding it easier to focus on our physical discomfort than to feel the emotional discomfort and anxiety of our sister going off to war.
In a similar way, Jesus decides to share one of his last meals with his friends Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. It is not an unfamiliar scene. Martha is busy serving, Lazarus is reclining with Jesus, Mary is present with him and honoring him with her anointing. Judas, not a sibling of the other three, questions Mary’s actions poking at what one “should do” with the oil she is spending on honoring Jesus. One by one it strikes me that they are each acting in ways that are most familiar to them. Expressing love through action (Martha), expressing love through presence (Mary/Lazarus), and overlooking love by over analyzing and being focused on “rules” or appearances (Judas). In times of deep emotion, it is natural for us to want to stay at the surface of what we are experiencing, but what if we grabbed hold of our courage and went deeper? What if we were to sit with Jesus and were honest with him about how we are feeling and doing?
The root of the word courage is “cor” the Latin word for heart. While courage is typically associated with bravery and strength (think a knight in armor), we rarely tend to think about it as staying true to our heart. But what if we did? What if courage meant digging deeper into our heart and staying true to what is there, pleasant or not? Could we envision that kind of bravery, that understanding of courage? The psalm today reminds us to “Wait for the LORD with courage; be stouthearted, and wait for the LORD.” As we continue to grapple with this pandemic and as we enter fully into Holy Week, may we consider digging deep with God and choosing courage over comfort.
Joan Ervin