Finding Rest in God
“Your words, Lord, are Spirit and life.” - Psalm 19
As I write this, I’m forced to pause, to be, to reflect. To be honest, I feel like I’ve been going a hundred miles per hour, caught up in another workaholic cycle. As I read today’s Gospel, all about service, I feel reminded of so many to-dos on my list that are unchecked, despite all that I have already done. Fr. Richard Rohr in his book on a Christian approach to the Enneagram (a personality index of nine types) talks about how for Catholics and Christians who identify as Type 2 “The Helper”, the words “put others before yourself” can by kryptonite. I frequently pour myself out for others, driven by a need to be needed, leaving my own needs unmet until I burn out. Underneath it, there’s a pride, a belief that if I keep doing, at least I’m in control. That I always need to be the one doing, helping, serving.
And so, I find myself hitting a wall, realizing that what I actually need to do, is stop doing and rest. Jewish law commands the people to honor Sabbath. I tend to cringe at words like “law” and “command”. So, a way that I like to look at it is, God invites God’s people to rest at least a whole day each week. And Jesus reminds us that it’s not that God made us for sabbath, but made sabbath for us. I know that God ultimately desires more than my work and service, my greatest good - my peace and joy - which I cannot access when I neglect sabbath.
As the Psalmist reminds us, God’s words are spirit and life. I know that spending time with God’s words and simply being, breathing in the Spirit, is what will rejuvenate my life. And perhaps from that place, I can be of service wholeheartedly, without burning myself out.
This date, February 27, is the 2-year anniversary of my Jewish Grandma Libi passing away. In 2021, that day fell on a Saturday, and to me, knowing that she went to her final rest on the Jewish sabbath day is very consoling. On this anniversary of her passing, I feel moved to acknowledge the gift that grief is: a powerful emotion that forces me to feel, to remember, and to rest.
Do you feel invited by the Lord to be of greater service at this time, or to take a break from work to rest in God? Both are ultimately meant to be ways to draw closer to the Lord.
Jessica Gerhardt