BELIEVE

“…and he and his whole household came to believe.” - Jn. 4:53

“Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will not believe.” Jesus might as well be talking directly to me in today’s Gospel. I desperately want a sign, to know for certain what is going on in me and in the world with this crazy pandemic. 

The past 11 days have consisted of me staying alone in my small one-bedroom apartment, becoming more hyper-alert to the flu-like symptoms of my body, and teetering between the fear that I could have the dreaded coronavirus or just an everyday miserable cold. Searching for a clear answer about my health, I find myself reading everything I can on the internet, contacting my doctors, and taking all the credible advice I have been offered. Feeling frustrated, the medical advice was to pay attention to my symptoms, take care of myself with the remedies provided, and have patience for it to pass with no contact with others. As each day passes, my anxiety and symptoms worsen and control becomes out of my reach.

Reaching out to God about my loneliness and fear in prayer these days stirs a similar sense: 

Pay attention to what’s going on in your heart. 
Take care of yourself. 
Stay close to Me. 

When we feel alone or isolated but know we are sacrificing to help the elderly, the vulnerable, and the health care system’s limits to flatten the curve, do we believe that we are working together toward the COMMON good? 

When we unite in prayer, through conversation, a video chat, a phone call, a smile, or even sickness and suffering, do we believe we are united in a REAL genuine community?

Like the royal official believed that Jesus would heal his dying son, Jesus invites us to believe in His promise of life. As we connect virtually these days, how do we believe?

May you give us the grace to wholeheartedly believe in you, God, even with all the uncertainty and disbelief that surrounds us.
How might you and your household be invited to believe more deeply today?

Jaclyn Torres

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