Lessons in Love
“...love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you…” - Mt. 5:44
I feel like the world has more “enemies” than it used to. And in the past few years I’ve especially felt these divisions and animosities in the last place I want to see them– the Church.
I’ve had a somewhat “love-hate” relationship with the Catholic Church for a long time now, never quite feeling fully accepted by either the institution or the majority of its local pew-goers. I could never “be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Indeed, who can be? A passage that needs unpacking another time.). I particularly didn’t feel accepted by those who were most keen to “observe his statutes, commandments and decree” above all. The struggle to try to be “enough” for others and their perceptions of what God desires of me is an exhausting, legalistic approach to life that I just can’t engage in any longer.
More and more, I tend to identify as a “reluctant Catholic.” This works for me and may even be part of my vocation as I hold the tension of being “in between” and a bridge for others. As my own way of staying connected to the Church has changed though, I have been tempted to turn those I disagree with further into the vilified “other” in my mind and heart. I set up straw men to easily knock down and resent. But this is not Jesus’ way either.
Rather, God continues to invite me to grow in love, regardless of others’ positions or perceptions. I’m not doing myself or the world any favors by holding onto anger and resentment, persecuting others in turn. Though loving others for me doesn’t mean subjecting myself to unjust, exclusive, or abusive situations, it doesn’t mean retaliating or closing off my heart either. I feel the gentle nudge of the Spirit this Lent to look again and see others as God’s beloved children, who ultimately all just want to be loved.
Who are my “enemies”? How might my heart need to soften towards others this Lent? Can I be real with Jesus about these feelings and needs in prayer?
Marisa Moonilal