DESERT OF MY OWN DESIGN
“…bear your share of hardship for the gospel with the strength that comes from God. He saved us and called us to a holy life, not according to our works but according to His own design.” – 2 Timothy 1:8-9
Lent is the opportunity to prepare yourself for the passion, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We get a whole 40+ days of the season to prepare our spirit and journey with Christ like He did in the desert. Yet, even though we are all called to live a holy life, I am swept away in trying to live my “best life” as society coins it. That means everything from trying to excel in my career to pursuing an active social life to maintaining my mental and physical health. Amidst all that, I forget sometimes what season I am actually in.
This past weekend, I finally allowed myself to slow down and went away on a silent retreat. In that silence though, I found myself in my own personal desert, alone and struggling. This pursuit of my own works and society’s expectations left me little energy or time to think about God’s designs for me. Worse, it felt like I had not even given Jesus proper time to journey with me, instead running full steam ahead away from Him towards what appeared to be success. I forced myself to journey alone and tried to take on all my struggles myself.
But if I learned anything, it is that His love is never-ending, unrelenting, and reckless. No matter how far we try to run away or hide, no matter what mood or mindset we may be in, He waits for us to invite Him in. I could be meditating, jogging, or even sitting in a work meeting and still invite Him to be with me. What is stopping me from asking God to be present during a difficult conversation or in my daily commute? The desert is not something I need to tackle on my own. These adventures are more meaningful and easier when shared with Christ, who knows the way and can guide my path. Rather than shouldering everything, I desire to ask Him to join me with each step, no matter how heavy or light my burden may be.
Lord, I may constantly be caught up in my desert I have created. I may forget to reach out to You or try to take on everything myself. In those moments, and all moments, help me to desire to invite You to journey with me. Remind me I am never alone, and with You, I will always find my way back to the right path.
Kevin Nguyen