MARY’S YES
“Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” - Lk. 1:38
Have you ever prayed for something, and then asked God for a sign, and then you received that sign (and in some cases the EXACT SOLUTION to your prayer), but then you chose to ignore it because it’s not what you hoped for or expected? [raising hand] Guilty.
The prayer that has used most of my energy in the past few years is one for healing. A broken heart is not a situation I’m unfamiliar with, and the “recovery” is something I thought I was accustomed to handling. This last time, however, was the hardest to get through. My conversations with God had never been more desperate and hopeless. I just wanted to get past the hurt, move on, perhaps get another chance with someone new; but though I’d developed a “system” for moments like this, this time it just wasn’t working.
My spiritual director observed that perhaps I hadn’t mended from past traumas and suggested that for me to truly find healing, I have to reflect on every heartbreaking experience, embrace the pain from each one, and then offer it to God’s care. It seemed like such abstract advice, and I couldn’t understand what good it would do to remember events that, in my mind, I was already healed from…until I actually started to do it. It only took one minute of one memory before the familiar ache inside my chest manifested itself, and I was crying; feeling hurt so palpable, I thought I’d been transported back to a time I worked so hard to forget. At that point, I stopped and began to pray for healing.
Yes, I prayed for healing again, despite already being told exactly what to do to achieve it, because feeling pain can’t possibly be what God intended, is it?
When the Angel Gabriel told Mary what God was asking of her, she was confused but remained a true believer in the Lord’s will.
“Do not be afraid, Mary,” Gabriel said. “For you have found favor with God.”
…
“Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord,” Mary replied. “May it be done to me according to your word.”
As He did with Mary, God was asking something of me. Instead of faithful resignation to His call, however, I responded with fearful doubt and remained so until a wise friend provided this reminder, “He’s taken you this far, despite your fears. Imagine the kind of plans he has for you if you take fear out.”
I allowed my fear of surely temporary pain to become greater than my trust in the Lord’s plan for me. Merely feeling the hurt from past trauma was not what God asked of me; it was the offering of that hurt into His hands that would give me the healing I so anxiously prayed for. All I had to do was trust in God as Mary did, and reply to God as Mary did.
Is God asking you to do something that you are afraid to say ‘yes’ to?
What is keeping you from giving God your ‘yes’?
Here are two songs that have helped me in prayer for healing:
Trust In You (Lauren Daigle)
Healer (Leah Mari & Bethel Music)
Anna Gonda