The Path of Ongoing Conversion
"Then he said to all, 'If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.'" - Lk 9:23
After working 65-80 hour per week for over five years, I find myself completely burned out. I’m too mentally and physically exhausted to care about much, and too numb to register the rest. Everything and everyone, including God, just feels distant. Meanwhile, my ego, the ever ready but misguided protector, offers me plenty of justification. 'You just need time'. 'It’s normal’. 'It’s okay to withdraw into yourself.' While some of this is true, I know that God calls me to something more.
Faith, like life, requires intentionality. Neither will just spontaneously reignite unless I work at them, and today’s Gospel passage offers the process. Jesus’ words are direct, and on the surface paradoxical, but sitting with them reveals an uncomfortable truth. Deep and long-term fulfillment is not possible by anything worldly, no matter the short-term promises. No new gadget, trip abroad, or professional accolade will do it. Curating an online image, getting lost in the 24-hour news cycle, or getting a huge bonus won’t do it. It’s only through a life of humble discipleship can we find true meaning and purpose.
As Lent unfolds, we’re invited to sit with Jesus’ “outline” for transformation and true fulfillment:
Let go of ego and self-preoccupation. “Deny yourself.”
Accept your struggles as they are. “Take up your cross.”
Entrust your life to God instead of trying to control it. “Follow me.”
By doing these things, allow yourself to be transformed. “Whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.”
Albert Wolff