Turning to God
“God said, ‘Come no nearer! Remove the sandals from your feet, for the place where you stand is holy ground.’” – Exodus 3:5
Live fully each moment as a response to love. This motto has served as the signature at the bottom of my emails for the past twenty years. Its appeal continues to draw me, encouraging me to practice being open to God through what many call the Sacramentality of the Present Moment. In the words of Jean-Pierre de Caussade, SJ: “God speaks to every individual through what happens to them moment by moment.”
That is a beautiful ideal. But in reality, I often dwell in the past or fret about the future. I complain or compare. I blame and shame and do not accept reality for what it is. In the past few years, I am painfully discovering that I often struggle to be open, undefended, and immediately present. My default response to most situations is colored by fear, judgment, attachment, and defensiveness. I’m better at imposing my version of reality than letting it unfold in the moment. As I try to remove sandals from my feet, I discover other layers of protection beneath, attempts to shield me from pain and vulnerability.
Living in the present for me in this time of pandemic and war means asking with God three questions: (1) Lord, what am I feeling at this moment? (2) Lord, how do you see me? (3) Lord, what do you invite me to do with this?
Lord, what am I feeling at this moment? Involving God like a good friend helps me identify, explore, and name my feelings and inner reactions. This allows me to “let be” the different emotions that flow through me, without judging or controlling what I should feel.
Lord, how do you see me? Do you see my fearful heart, my selfish reactions? Turning my gaze to God can shift my limited perspective on things. Letting Jesus look at me with curiosity, acceptance, and often with a smile lessens the hardness of my heart towards myself (or others) and enables me to trust that I am loved, and to trust that the intimacy I most crave is offered by him.
Lord, what do you invite me to do with this? Often, I don’t “hear” from God. However, simply asking the question shifts me from the default tendency toward self-reliance or “doing it alone”. Involving God in my striving and struggle to be present does help me be less defensiveness and controlling.
Jesus promises to be with us every moment of our life. He meets us where we are and invites us to grow beyond ourselves, transforming our experience in the present moment into holy ground – the place of encounter with the Divine.
“Lord, help me turn to you in learning to accept the present moment with its joys and challenges.”
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