Courage of Obedience
When Joseph awoke, he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home. - Matthew 1:24a
“Maybe the day the Lord has made for us is a different day.” I said to Rae as we sat in St. Catherine of Siena Catholic Church following Epiphany Sunday evening mass. We’d be married in this very place a year later. We had been engaged for a month at this point and thought we’d settled on a wedding date, but our priority to ensure specific loved ones would be able to attend seemed to invite different plans. Wedding planning can be complicated by family dynamics that color and stress all the logistics. “When” to get married was a discernment process.
Up to this point, all of my major decisions had been heavily influenced by my parents. Now, I was becoming part of a new family. I’d never had to disagree with my parents about much to this point, but over the last decade, now I’d become my own person.
Rae and I settled on a new date as we sat before the altar that night. It felt right, complete with the visceral relaxation that accompanies decisions made through discernment.
My parents didn’t like the new plans. I was taken aback by their seemingly disproportionate resistance. In retrospect, it was never about the wedding date. It was about the changing dynamics of our relationship. I was an adult, becoming part of a greater whole: my own family. This is a natural evolution, but it was still difficult and uncomfortable. The anxiety that came with all of this (and other similarly themed conflicts that would follow) felt like a chronic illness. I’ve had to pray for much courage to grow into my new reality so that I could navigate criticism and judgment from people that matter to me.
Joseph, husband of Mary, learned that she was pregnant by the power of the Holy Spirit. The Gospels gloss over this as if Joseph, who had already decided to “divorce her quietly”, just one day woke up from a particularly vivid dream and said “Okay, yeah, I’m good with this.” Joseph was as human as I am. How difficult it must have been for Joseph after he made his decision. What did his friends and family think? Surely this caused conflict.
Today, on this Feast of the Solemnity of St. Joseph, husband of the Blessed Virgin Mary, I am in awe of Joseph’s courage.
Where might we be invited to lean on our faith to give us courage to follow God’s will for us? Let us pray for this courage so that we may discern and choose God’s plan for us, no matter the discomfort or conflict that might follow.
Kevin Izquierdo