BABBLING AWAY…
“In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” - Matthew 6:7
Are my words anything more than meaningless babble? Recent challenges have stirred a cloud of confusion in my community. In this whirling mess, there is much “babbling” as people grasp for meaning. The babble of sadness is loud, the screaming loneliness even louder, and the cacophony of pain the loudest of all. I too find myself struggling to hear God’s voice amidst this constant babbling. I was struck by the unmistakable feeling that the false spirit was hard at work sowing division and directing attention away from God’s goodness and grace. How does a person pray when caught in a spirit of desolation?
Say Everything
The pagan tradition that Matthew’s Gospel refers to is the practice of chanting the same phrases over and over again, hoping that at some point some form of god will hear these prayers and respond. For me, these pleas sound like “God, I will do anything if you only…” When I can’t decipher what God is saying to me, I shout back any possible response hopefully for the right one to emerge. In desolation, I am willing to do anything to get out of the pit of despair.
Say Nothing
Sometimes God does reveal wisdom, grace, or hope through me. God gives me the words of truth to speak. I may trust the truth, but I doubt the intended messenger? Who am I to share God’s word? Who am I to speak words of light into the darkness that prevails? My own unworthiness is allowed to grow bigger than my sensing of God. A trusted mentor recently told me that this resistance to what God is doing in me is actually a form of sin. As harsh as her words might seem, I knew she spoke the truth to me that I needed to hear. My self-doubt has been fueling doubt in God.
Say Something
So shall my word be that goes forth from my mouth; It shall not return to me void, but shall do my will, achieving the end for which I sent it. - Isaiah 55:11
This Lenten season has already offered me new ways of journeying with Jesus to the cross. Each word that God allows me to speak for Him feels like a rough draft. Once it is out of my mouth, I want to scratch it out with a red pen and take it back. I am consoled by the words in today's first reading, that even my imperfect words can be used by God. They “shall not return to me void” and instead will take root and grow in myself, in my children and family, and in those around me. My Lenten prayer is that seeds of love, hope, and truth might take root in my heart and flourish in the world.
Lord, am I allowing seeds of doubt and fear to take root? What hope are you calling me to nourish and cultivate?
Jen Coito
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