ONE MOMENT CLOSER TO COMING HOME
“To the upright I will show the saving power of God.” - Ps. 50:8-9
I looked at my husband sitting beside me during brunch outside. The sun was shining, turning this winter morning into a spring-like indulgence. We had found “our spot,” a breakfast place next to a running store across the street with miles of greenery and a river. Three trees nearby reached towards the sky and at the top were what looked like Christmas trees. I had never seen trees like that before. I’d call this moment a “Garden of Eden” moment, except Adam and Eve had never known strife or struggle until they were exiled. So instead, this morning was as close to heaven as it gets.
At the end of the Lenten season 3 years ago, we found ourselves in an extended Good Friday with the miscarriage of our first son that felt like the tomb’s stone was never going to be rolled away. Then, we moved across the country, and I fell into deeper darkness, feeling isolated, alone, and at times, spiritually abandoned. At times, the only glimmer of hope was a blind faith that one day life would not feel so hollow, empty, and all-consuming at the same time.
So this morning, after more seasons of Lent, Easter, Advent, and Christmas, we both were able to attend our 2nd son’s 20-week ultrasound. We got to see his little feet and hands. His legs look like a runner’s legs. God willing, our baby shower will be a marathon theme. Our toddler-aged daughter was in school where she’s thriving, learning, and causing all sorts of rascal mischief.
Lent, for me, is about coming home. It’s when everything else is supposed to become quiet and somehow, someway the path to God appears before each of my footsteps, one at a time, if only I make that choice to step forward. But this Lent, life actually feels quite loud, busy, and to focus even on just the next step seems almost impossible. Then, I remember that sometimes we don’t have to move at all to find God - that there can be a quiet moment amidst a busy morning showing us God’s fidelity and plans for good in our lives. Where light can be shined on the thread of Goodness that runs throughout our lives - even through the darkest and most trying times.
Today’s responsorial psalm can either be great words of praise and empowerment in some of the highest points of our lives, or a battle cry said in blind faith during the lowest. Wherever this may find us today, I hope that in both the movement and stillness, we all are able to have an abiding sense that we are one moment closer to coming home.
Rae Visita