Blessed Are All Who Wait for the Lord 

"The Kingdom of heaven is at hand. Cure the sick, raise the dead...Without cost you have received; without cost you are to give" - Matthew 9:35 

A few weeks before the COVID pandemic hit, my partner left me and I was on the verge of losing my job. No longer did I feel loved, nor that anything was going to be okay. Many nights, I'd cry out in frustration, "Lord, why did you make me like this? Don't you see me?" I'd listen, weep, and wait patiently for his voice. But I'd hear nothing. Just deafening silence. 

Though I felt utterly abandoned, I held on to the faintest glimmer of hope... that perhaps, I wasn't alone. Perhaps God would show me which way to walk. And so He did. Every week for 1 year, I went to therapy to heal from my childhood trauma. At the end of that year, I finally confronted the family member who hurt me and told them I remember...and I forgive them. With tears in their eyes, they said to me, "Thank you... I thought I'd have to carry this guilt until I died. You've set me free." The following year, I entered a 12-step program to recover from an addiction I'd battled with for more than 20 years. It's been 6 months, and by God's grace, I am still sober today. As a result of surrendering my life and my will over to the care of God, my life has become manageable and even symptoms of my disability (ADHD) seem to be disappearing. 

Jesus and his disciples performed many miracles in the days he walked on Earth. Never in my wildest dreams, could I imagine that a sinner like me would be worthy of a miracle. But like what is said in today's gospel, "The Kingdom of heaven is at hand". Christ continues to cure and raise his people from the dead. On this feast day of St. Francis Xavier, let us go and set the world on fire as servants of Christ. 

Where is Jesus leading me? How may the hope of Christ invite me into deeper healing? What miracle has God given me so I may spread the good news? 

Nathan Dias 

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