BECAUSE GOD LOVES US FIRST
Beloved, we love God because he first loved us.
I don’t have the easiest relationship with my in-laws. On some very hot topics, we are diametrically opposed. I obsess over their disapproval and embarrassingly admit that I have reciprocal feelings. But, we are family. I love them. I want them to be a part of my life. In my best moments, I know they feel the same way.
A spiritual director once asked me what I wanted from my in-laws.
“I want them to love me.” I replied.
“What can you do to make them love you?” He asked.
I paused.
He answered for me, “Nothing. Love is a grace and gift from God. First.”
I started crying. To love is not easy. But when I remember that I am not the original source of that love, that I am a conduit of it, that God loved me first, it sets me free. I can just be me and know that I am loved.
If anyone says, “I love God,”
but hates his brother, he is a liar;
for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen
cannot love God whom he has not seen.
This is the commandment we have from him:
Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
In my desire to be seen and loved by my in-laws, I sometimes fail to see that if I truly intend to love them the way God loves me, I must recognize there is nothing they can or can’t do as well on their end to change my love for them. I, too, am called to love them as they are.
When I refrain from kind words, extending grace, or leading with peace in our interactions, it is less a reflection of the state of our relationship and more of a reflection of whether or not I am accepting God’s love for me. When I am less aware of God’s love, I am less capable of loving my in-laws. When I’m more aware, loving them becomes something that flows through me from God versus having to start with me.
Dear God, in this season, open our hearts to receiving the gift of your love, given first. Fill our well with grace and reminders of how we are deeply loved, just as we are. And when it is difficult to love others, remind us that unconditional love starts with you. Amen.
Anonymous