TAKE COURAGE
Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid!
As I read the Gospel reading, I was reminded of Pope Francis’ Urbi et orbi last March. The meditation was from the reading from Mark 4:35-41, just 2 chapters before today’s Gospel reading. Since then, I often found myself questioning, “Why do I fear? Do I have no faith?”. This past year has been a year full of challenges and difficulties; the pandemic became the least of my worries. From losing a job, struggling for months to find the next job, taking on a temporary job in a completely new area, being miserable with the job that I took and struggling to understand what to do with my career. I can imagine the fear of the unknown, fear of dying, fear of getting lost as if I was also on that boat. Each gust of wind, rocking the boat, tossing it in an unrecognizable direction, so strong that fear overcame any hope. There were so many moments this past year where I felt trapped, lost, and helpless. So much so that there were moments where I had forgotten that God was there and always has been. Some days, I had to remember to pause from time to time and reflect, when my heart felt troubled or when panic settled in, to invite God in to calm my fears, anxieties, and troubles. At the beginning of last year, I attended a silent retreat. Months after the retreat, I received a letter that reminded me of the graces that I had experienced from that retreat. One of the graces that stuck with me following the retreat was the phrase “Be with me.” It was the simple reminder that God is there, I only need to remember that He is with me. He can calm the wind and cast out my fears.
Last year, I had reflected on 1 Jn 4:18 and still think about that passage often. “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love.” Learning to love perfectly has always been a work in progress as there are so many distractions but what I had learned was to remember and notice the small and big things with a thankful heart. These moments of gratitude, regardless of its depth, is a simple reminder that God is here for all of us, He’s with us on that boat. As I reflect on the past year, there have been moments of joy and peace: getting engaged, being more in touch with my family, and being able to serve and attend the outdoor Sunday Mass are just a few to think of. Even though things are not the way I want them to be, even though I still at times have many anxieties and worries about the future, I can always trust that God will be there with me.
Beloved, beloved, beloved. Take my hand, trust Me, be with Me.
Amy Lee
Photo credit: Accepted By Grace