God's Promise of Joy
Can I really be happy as a priest, Lord?
This was the question that plagued me when I was discerning religious life in my early twenties. My whole life I had assumed that my fulfillment would come from becoming a physician and having a family of my own, but I couldn't deny the attraction that I felt toward a life of service as a priest.
When I imagined myself as priest, there was a spark of joy, but then the doubts and fears entered into my mind––Will I be lonely? Am I worthy? Will I have regrets?
In the Scriptures today and all throughout Advent, God promises each of us deep, abiding joy. The imagery is dramatic––the barren will have numerous descendants, the desert will bloom like a garden, the lame will leap like a stag.
Yet it can be difficult to imagine how this joy might come about for ourselves, especially if we are in the midst of a trying time.
When the future seems uncertain, it can be helpful to look at the past and the ways in which God has already been present in our lives. What have been those gifts of joy and peace that have sustained us and brought us to this moment? Such reflection reminds us of God's faithfulness to us, which is highlighted by the prophet Isaiah today: "My love shall never leave you..."
In the midst of doubts and questions, let us ask for the grace to trust that God's promise of joy will be fulfilled for us, even if that joy is beyond our present imagining.
How has God brought joy to my life? What fears am I being invited to let go so that I can trust in God's promise of joy to me?
Andrew Laguna, SJ