PERFECT LOVE DRIVES OUT FEAR
“God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him. In this is love brought to perfection among us, that we have confidence on the day of judgment because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear.” - 1 Jn. 4:16-21
In the past year and a half, I have moved to another state, resigned from a handful of jobs and now facing unemployment for the past several months. Many thoughts came to mind when I became unemployed again within a years’ time. Did I choose the right field? Was moving to California a wrong decision? Did I make the right choice to quit my job? Do I need to move again? Is there any job out there that is a right fit? It was crippling and still is. Originally I was at peace with quitting my job, but now a few months into unemployment, I am uneasy. I feel so lost in terms of where and what I need to do with my career along with other areas of my life. It causes me much fear and anxiety because I start worrying about the future and doubting the decisions I have made.
A few months ago, my faith sharing group reflected on 1 John 4:7-21 and this verse stuck with me for the following months. I continued to reflect on the verse, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear.” During that time, I attended a half day retreat. One of the discussion topics was about darkness and learning about one of the types of darkness enlightened me in a way that caused me to reflect on the root of my fears. Every day since I quit my job, I have had moments where I was engulfed by the fear of not being able to find a job, fear that I didn’t do the right thing, fear of being forgotten, fear of not being enough, fear of being unloved. These reminded me that I need to trust God more, to love God more, even in my own imperfections. I may never reach perfection, but it can be something I can strive towards every day. I remember that God loves me by looking back on all the good things He has done within my life and remind myself of what is important to me and the reasons why I made those decisions in the past.
Shelter - Vertical Worship
Amy Lee
Prayer of Thomas Merton
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that, if I do this,
You will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust you always
though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.