YOU GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR...AND MORE
“Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asked for a loaf of bread, or a snake when he asked for a fish?” - Mt. 7:9-10
One of the best parts of road trips are the places where we stop to eat. For some people, stops extend the drive and are therefore avoided. One time, on the way back from camping at Kern River as a child, I begged my father to stop at a McDonald’s. I asked persistently for the second half of the trip, building up my hopes that my request would be granted. At one point, my father said, “We are going to stop at a Cuban McDonald’s.” In shock, I questioned, “There’s a Cuban McDonald’s?!?!” He replied, “Yes.” My brothers, who were in the car listening, didn’t say a word. I bought it, stopped bothering my father about it, and sat wondering how the menu would be different as a “Cuban McDonald’s.” As we approached Los Angeles, the excitement was building. We parked, got out of our 1970’s Ford van, and walked up to the restaurant. I found no golden arches or any Cuban variation. It was a simple Cuban restaurant that my father enjoyed dining at where he would see many of his Cuban cronies. Tired from the drive, I ate my rice, black beans, and ropa vieja quietly in disappointment, knowing that my grandmother could have made it when we got home. (Please note - As an adult, I am much more excited about Cuban restaurants than McDonald’s)
When I read today’s scripture, this experience came to mind. I asked, no begged, for one thing and got another. At different times in my life, asking God for anything sometimes made me question, “What if I get something I didn’t really want?” While I was single, I wondered if I would ever get married. Am I meant for marriage? I was afraid to ask God what He wanted me to do with my life because I feared He would answer with “religious life,” which is something I did not want. While thinking through this, I attended a retreat. In conversation with one of the retreat leaders, he shared his own thoughts on vocation and our desires. He said to not be afraid because God planted our desires in our hearts. If I truly desired married life, it would eventually happen. We don’t know when or how it will happen, but it will happen. This exchange changed the way I view vocation and asking God for what I desire. Years later, I am married now to a man I had been friends with for 13 years before we started dating. I got what I asked for and much more.
“If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him.” - Mt. 7:11
Even after a few of these experiences, I still have my moments when I am afraid that I won’t get exactly what I ask for. It is in these moments that I try to look back on the story of grace in my life where I called, and He answered. Doing so also reminds me to be mindful of how hard I am clinging to my version of my desire/dream. Doing so invites me to trust God more, requiring me to be more patient and open for God to reveal His version. God has answered me by creating His version of my dream, but sometimes at a time and in ways I could not have imagined.
At the beginning of this year’s Lenten journey, I find myself, once again, acting like my younger self begging and clinging to my version of my dreams, worrying that I might be disappointed. To help me with trusting God more, I am returning back to remembering the story of grace by starting a gratitude journal. Each day, I will write down and pray over the grace that has happened. I have my little notebook in my purse that I write into as I begin my day, whether in the car before heading into L.A. traffic or quietly at home before a morning Zoom call. In the past, this spiritual habit has helped me to lean into joy, trust in God, and to be even more attentive to the gifts I have been given. To compliment this practice, I have also begun doing an imaginative prayer, where I hand over challenging feelings, especially doubt and feeling overwhelmed, to Jesus. As I am praying, this visually looks like Jesus and I sitting near each other. With my feeling cupped into my hands, I hand it over to Jesus. He receives the feeling, cupping it gently and bringing it close to himself, saying, “I can handle this. I will take care of it.” Afterwards, the feeling is still there, but how I relate to it has changed. It doesn’t feel as heavy, and I can more fully receive the grace of the day.
My hope in practicing these two spiritual habits is to dare to ask and dream more with God, trusting that He will answer me the way he always has. His answer is always better than the one I try to produce on my own.
Other Possible Aides for Prayer
Here are a few questions I reflect on when I am thinking of asking God for anything:
What desire do I hold in my heart right now?
Do I feel like I can ask God for it or offer it to Him?
If not, what keeps me from doing so? What feelings keep me from doing so?
When was a time that God gave me what I asked for?
Here are two songs that help me remember the story of grace:
Good to Me (Audrey Assad)
Came to My Rescue (Hillsong)
Karisa Avalos