LIVING FROM THE INSIDE OUT
“You shall not bear hatred for your brother in your heart. Though you may have to reprove him, do not incur sin because of him. Take no revenge and cherish no grudge against your fellow countrymen. You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” - Lv. 19: 17-18
Today’s readings provide such a plentitude of helpful guidelines for how best to treat others in our daily lives, and perhaps particularly so even more during Lent. I am reminded of the Ten Commandments through the first reading: “You shall not steal. You shall not lie…” and so forth, and in the Gospel, “Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.”
With such clear counsels, why am I still finding myself struggling with some of these though, especially as it pertains to relationships with others? Sure, I do not want to “act dishonestly in rendering judgment” or “not bear hatred for your brother in your heart,” and yet in more emotional or otherwise tense moments I catch myself doing these exact things. If I have felt wronged in one way or another, I feel justified in my perspective, which can be hard to come off of.
The end of the first reading gives me the most insightful reminder: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Ah ha. In my trying to be more kind and loving to others, how good have I been to myself? Not always that much. The harder I am on myself, the harsher I am in my relationships.
This is not to say that the focus should only be on myself during Lent, but if I don’t also look inwardly during these days, then all my external efforts will be for naught. They will not reflect any deeper conversion through these 40 days, but rather be a more superficial show of activities. That is, I am reminded that aligning the two more intentionally will create the space for fuller grace to flow.
Lord, how are you inviting me to care for myself as much as others during this time? Please help me to see how you are leading me further within as well.
Quyen (Nhi) Ngo