LEARNING TO TRUST THE LORD
“For with the LORD is kindness and with him is plenteous redemption; And he will redeem Israel from all their iniquities." – Ps 130:7bc-8
While I've made progress in my life with Jesus’ call to turn the other cheek, and forgiving after getting momentarily upset, I’ve still struggled over the years with thinking petty thoughts when I experience anger or feel offended by others. It wasn’t until recently that I realized I didn’t like how distant I felt from God in the process.
I’ve lived most of my life thinking I’m not sinning because I try my best to be good and I think my anger is justified because I believed others were trying to offend me or weren’t trying hard enough to be a good person. My heart hardened and it was difficult for me to pray and sense God’s grace. Once I realized this, I sought a stronger connection with the Lord to help me let go of always being upset. Through reflection and prayer, I slowly learned that I also commit sins that cause others pain, sorrow, and anger, like the moments when I felt offended by others.
I’ve been learning that everyone is doing what they think is best with what they know, which is why I haven’t been good at mending relationships when I thought others were trying to offend me, and why I continue to unintentionally cause pain to others. I am thankful for the mercy I have received from those whom I offended, which helps me pray for myself and others, and to be more vulnerable with God.
I am also encouraged by Jesus through my imperfection. He teaches me to forgive as I have been forgiven, because I have experienced firsthand the transformative power of mercy. Therefore, it’s only fair that I extend the same mercy to others and place greater trust in God. Because I find myself more distant from God if I choose not to forgive and pray. I hope to live more vibrantly, recognizing that such liveliness isn’t found in feelings of anger or spite, but in forgiveness, prayer, and personal growth with Jesus.
Lord, help me to let go of anger and resentments, and to trust in your mercy.
Stephanie Garcia