GENEROUS LOVE
Sometimes we just don’t know how good we have it. It’s human to be impatient and imperfect, they say, and often I am the most human of all the humans. In the last year, I have been intentional about devoting an hour of my day to wasting time with the Lord. I talk to God, like I would a dear friend. I focus with fervor on listening to God, rather than talking at Her about my wants and needs. Slowly I am learning to allow God to be God in my life and surrender to how life unfolds. I pray to the Holy Spirit to reveal to me the ways that I lose my patience with God when I don’t get what I want and to help me wait for when I do.
And God showed up for me. As I sat on a bench overlooking the bay, like a soft breeze caressing my cheek, I heard “Have I been patient with you?” The words were soft but the message was sharp on my heart. God has been so patient with me, in my darkness and my confusion and my apathy and my disdain. God waits for me to return, and then continues to give me gifts along the way. How can I not try to model that in return? How can I not at least try at the realization of such immense grace?
Our God is a God of tolerance. Not in the superficial way, as is often used to demoralize justice efforts, but in the enduring way. God has the ability to accept and resist while remaining unattached. Like the landowner in the Gospel today, God loans us his creation, gifts us His own treasurers, for our enjoyment and care, and so many times we still don’t know how good we have it. Yet, God always goes the extra mile because it is not about deserving, but about immense loving. May we, like Jesus, model that generous love with those we are impatient with, including our own selves.
What or whom am I being invited to pay more attention to? How can I grow in patient love this Lenten season?
Ana López