HARDNESS OF HEART
He appeared to them and rebuked them for their unbelief and hardness of heart because they had not believed those who saw him after he had been raised. - Mk 16:14
Sometimes I find myself going about my day so busily that I end the day realizing I’ve had almost nothing to drink. For me, this wreaks havoc with my body. I’m disappointed with myself for forgetting to do something so simple and basic as to drink water. This is an apt physical analogy to what can happen to my emotional and spiritual self if I’m not attentive. Getting stuck in expectations or finding myself caught up in emotions or entrenched in perspectives that feel foundational to who I am can easily lead to a “hardness of heart”.
As such, I can see myself in the reactions of the elders in today’s first reading. Despite Peter and John’s boldness, they appear to respond with fear about what might happen to their beliefs if what Peter and John say is true. This “hardness of heart” causes them to hold more tightly to what they hold to be true vs. what they have seen and heard. Similarly, the disciples in the today’s Gospel are so caught up in their mourning, sorrow, and fear, that they are unwilling to be attentive to God’s presence and invitation in the recounts of his appearance from Mary and the two disciples. This “hardness of heart” is understandable in both situations. Or at least, for me, relatable.
In both cases, I notice an unwillingness to be openly attentive to receiving those in front of them. An unwillingness to brush aside the discomfort, fear, distraction that might arise as the hardness of their hearts is challenged. While there are lifegiving things such as prayer or connection that help keep my “hardness of heart” at bay, inevitably it won’t always be enough. And yet, I’m still called to listen, be bold, and consciously soften my heart. To search for the kernel of Jesus present in front of me and to receive others, to receive him.
Are there situations in your life where you are more prone to a “hardness of heart”? How can you be attentive to this and open yourself to God’s invitation?
Joan Ervin