A WAY FORWARD
Today's Gospel reading begins with Jesus foretelling his own death and resurrection (Lk 9:22). His words must've been quite sobering to those who believed him. It's what He said afterwards that offers us something especially poignant for these times though.
As we emerge out of the pandemic years, many of us do so forever changed. Maybe we feel beaten up, exhausted, lonely, or without direction. Maybe we feel a bit of it all, and whether we experienced trauma directly or felt the cold of a collective anxiety and pain, our eyes show something that no face covering or laptop camera can hide.
For me, the path I had walked with God for years began to peter out with the illness and death of my father in 2020. On-going family illnesses erased it altogether in 2021 until I stood at the start of 2022 not knowing who I was anymore. Today’s Gospel reading is a reminder of a way back.
In His paradoxical style, Jesus offers a simplified way back to all of us who struggle and suffer. He says, "whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it."
This evokes two messages for me. First, suffering is inherent to life. Some may suffer more, some less, but we all will suffer and there's no avoiding or escaping it. Second, I can begin to transcend the suffering by letting go of the need to carry and endure it alone. I’m incredibly limited, deeply flawed, but together with God, real healing and growth can happen. My Camaldolese brothers tell me that this is part of "kenosis" or self-emptying, and it’s a step all pilgrims will be invited to walk on the camino of life.
In closing, I offer this prayer:
May I become less so that He becomes greater;
May all of the struggles of life move from the limits of self to the limitlessness of God.
Albert Wolff