A Pandemic Advent Prayer
Dear Jesus,
Today Advent begins,
a season to welcome your coming,
to wait with expectant hope.
But can I be really honest?
As Covid-19 infections escalate at an alarming rate,
I find myself waiting with greater anticipation
for the coming of the vaccine
more than for your promised advent.
Your invitation seems simple and clear:
“Keep watchful! Be alert!
you do not know when the Lord of the house is coming.” – Mk 13:35
Yet, I find myself like Isaiah lamenting and longing for deliverance:
“Why do you let us wander, O LORD, from your ways,
and harden our hearts so that we fear (i.e. trust) you not?” – Is 63:17
I resist the urge to question why you exiled us from “normal-pre-2020” living
as if we’re being punished for our unfaithfulness to you
like our Hebrew ancestors during the Babylonian exile.
I do trust in your redeeming presence,
but I’m easily overwhelmed by the hidden pandemics
made visible by the coronavirus outbreak:
hunger, racial injustice, violence, and climate change.
Why can’t you let us handle just one or maybe two crises at a time?
I want to wait for your coming, keeper of my heart.
Again, in full disclosure:
mine is a heart both barren and unkempt,
torn between self-care and care for many who suffers,
beleaguered by ambiguous loss & grief,
fearful to have my need for control unmasked.
Awaken in me,
especially when my spirit feels powerless, self-reliant, or lonely,
a willingness
to pause and breathe
to pause and be
to pause and receive.
Come, Lord Jesus,
elusive one,
God unexplainably born in my heart.
Teach me to make room for you,
breath by breath,
moment by moment,
by learning anew
how to recognize grace:
your unexpected presence
whispering peace,
“I am here.”
Amen.
Photo credit: Reuters/Guglielmo Mangiapane